It has been weeks since I twisted my ankle. I am fighting the impulse to buy another pair of running shoes. I actually tried one on last Sunday with the intention of buying but it no longer makes me feel better. I am running out of space for shoes too. My ankle is better now. Its not painful anymore and the swelling has significantly gone down. So while staring at my swollen ankle, I was able to think about things and made the following realization:
1. I won’t be able to reach my goal of qualifying for the Milo finals this year. Yeah this year is not yet the year for me to be in the finals. I have lost 4 weeks of training and with that is the hope of finishing strong. A marathon requires good training and taking 4 weeks of is not part of that especially if you have a goal of finishing faster than the 3:50 qualifying time. At this point, I have to admit that I am not prepared and as they say, FAILING TO PREPARE IS PREPARING TO FAIL. So yeah there goes my dream. But, there will still be next year or the provincial qualifiers so we’ll see. Maybe not in July 2012 but I will eventually. I WILL!
2. You can’t serve two masters at the same time. Before the Milo finals qualifying goal and even before I started running, I had other goals that are equally important. I wanted to learn how to play the violin and serenade friends. I wanted to have my weight loss diary published (which reminds me to look for it). I want the letters PhD placed after my name.
The last one takes a lot of effort. it is almost 10 years since I started working on that one. i almost gave up a couple of times but hey I am on my last leg – DISSERTATION WRITING. I have my topic approved and will work on outline defense by August. I will be on leave tomorrow to enroll for residency and choose my adviser. This needs to be prioritized now. I have to spend my weekends and some evenings in front of my laptop, writing.
I know I have somehow convinced myself that i can do both running and writing together but looking at the results, I CAN’T! Time management? Yeah but one has to take the backseat and it will have to be running for now. So yes, this is me telling the world that RUNNING will be at the backseat until I finish DISSERTATION WRITING.
I am not saying goodbye to running, but I will just take a detour so dear competitive me, take a break and focus your energy to writing. The road will still be there but I am in danger of losing the chance of getting that 3 lettersn after my name if I don’t prioritize.